When You Feel Like A Failure

Chronic illness causes you to drop balls. Because of a constant lack of energy and ongoing weakness, things just don’t get done. Not because you’re not trying, of course, but because you just don’t have the strength. When you start dropping balls, you feel like a complete failure, as a spouse, parent, employee, and friend.

It is a hard feeling to live with. I don’t like being a ball-dropper. My husband and kids don’t care much for it, either. Employers definitely don’t like it!

So, what do you do about this all-too-common feeling?

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When You Deal With Anxiety

It might have been a beautiful sunny day outside, but in my heart was a storm that wouldn’t go away. I well remember that feeling of panic when my heart felt like it was beating 200 beats/min and I couldn’t breath. It was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced. I didn’t know then that I was having a panic attack. Read More

When You Can’t Forgive

Since being diagnosed with chronic pain and living in this world, I have realized that people in chronic pain not only live with broken bodies, but they also live with broken hearts, myself included. When I was 37, I was told that I was a victim of child abuse. I was seeing a counselor to help me deal with chronic pain issues and learned that the severe “spankings” I got for 14 years as a child were considered physical abuse and had probably caused my chronic pain. Upon learning this, I felt like a bomb had gone off in my world. Everything I thought I knew and based my life on was shaken to the core. Years of hurt would bubble to the surface when I least expected it. Then, several years later, I was deeply hurt by my husband. Again, my world was shaken to the core. After several more years, the anger I held inside was beginning to affect me in my daily life. I desperately wanted to forgive, heal, and move on, but that process was easier said than done. How do you forgive the hurt of physical abuse? How do you forgive when your spouse hurts you? How do you forgive fully and completely so that you are free from the effects of the hurts we experience in our lives? Read More