When It Hurts Too Much

When we think of “sad,” we think of tragedies happening, people dying, hope being lost. I want to tell you a story about a different kind of sad, perhaps the most tragic of all, which is found in Matthew 8: 28-34 in the Bible. Bear with me as we explore a story of sadness on our journey of hope.
In this story, Jesus goes to a place called the “region of the Gadarenes.” I confess, I don’t know much about this place, but I do know that there were two demon-possessed men who immediately came out to taunt Jesus. They knew who Jesus was and asked why He was there, “to torture us before God’s appointed time?
They knew Jesus had power over them and that He was going to order them out of the two men’s bodies, so they begged Him to send them into some pigs nearby. Jesus did so, and the demons caused the pigs to run away, plunging to their death over a steep hillside and into a lake.
You would think this is a good thing. You would think that the people would be celebrating the release of two men who are now free of demon-possession. You would think the people would beg Jesus for more of His healing power.
But not these people. Instead, they begged Jesus to go away and leave them alone.
And I asked myself, “Do I ever do that?

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When You Want to Quit

When you live with chronic pain, every day your body screams “QUIT!” How do you manage to keep going despite the pain, fatigue, and discouragements that threaten to overwhelm both body and soul? Continuing to put one foot in front of the other when experiencing daily pain and exhaustion is not easy, but it is possible when you adopt thoughts, attitudes, and habits that help you cope instead of quit.

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How to Find Hope Through Acceptance

Life is hard enough without having a chronic illness. The stress of chronic illness and pain can push us right over the edge to a place where life becomes unbearable and all hope is gone. We desperately need the kind of hope that withstands the difficulties of life. One way to begin to find hope is through acceptance.

It took me ten years to come to the place where I accepted that my fibromyalgia and chronic pain were not going away. When I finally got to that place of peace, I was accused of both choosing to make illness my identity and not having enough faith that God would heal me. I was prayed for and prayed over. I was told I needed to exercise more, take supplements, lose weight, stop taking so much medicine, drink special water (two different kinds, in fact), and quit being lazy.

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When You Are Desperate

Chronic pain will make you desperate faster than anything else I know–desperate for help, desperate for hope,  and desperate for joy. It has made me desperate for God and for more of His power and grace in my life. With that desire in my mind, I have been studying the different names of God so that I can know Him more. Today the name I studied was the “Good Shepherd.” Read More


When You Have Lost Your Joy

After nine years of living with chronic illness and pain, I have realized the need for acceptance. Acceptance of my limitations, acceptance of a life I never expected, acceptance of the loss of some of my dreams, and eventually, acceptance of the pain itself. After 9 years of trying to rid myself of it, I am beginning to realize and accept that this illness and pain might not go away, and that is okay. It is okay that God’s primary purpose in my life may not include healing.

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